Picture the scene: a 45-year-old man is learning to ride a bike. In his every day life, he is well respected — a headteacher or an engineer or, say, a biscuit-factory manager. Right now, however, he is wobbling his way around a park, surrounded by scores of fellow learners — all 40 years his junior. His silver hair is ruffling itself underneath his wonky helmet. His joints are rigid, on account of the excessive (and tight) protective padding. He has adult stabilisers which, until a week ago, he didn’t even know you could buy. We could go the full hog by making his bike pink with yellow polkas and having it bear a frilly basket. But he doesn’t need all that to feel self-conscious. After all, he has adult stabilisers.
Inspirational, right? This guy is riding helmet-first into that one thing that holds most of us back from learning: shame. And boy can that shame sting, particularly when it cracks us right in the Who-Can’t-Do-That-Mate? blind spot. It’s a burning humiliation.
Next time I find myself floundering outside my comfort zone, I’ll think of our friend on the bike. The Adult Stabiliser Mindset: face the shame now, and one day you’ll be able to ride.