“Let’s play a game!” If you’re like me, these are the worst words to hear. I know how this ends: I start to lose, and then lose my senses. It’s pathetic. Monopoly boards topple. Trivial Pursuit Cheeses roll. Pucket pieces fly.
Losing sucks. Someone — someone who isn’t me — has demonstrated their authority. There are different coping mechanisms for this. Some people become ‘competitive’ — practising to ensure that they never lose (and twice-toppling that board when they do). My natural mechanism is different: I opt out completely.
This opt-out approach is not healthy. You miss out on the chance for experiences. You become a No Man. (Neither a No Man nor a Yes Man should you be.) Want to go bowling with your mates? Nah, my elbows point funny. And it has professional consequences. Why try for something — a job, a promotion — when you might not get it?
In his book This Is Marketing, Seth Godin presents a different perspective on competition. Don’t think of it as competition, he says. Instead, aim for an extreme market. He gives the example of two guitar teachers: One whose approach is rigorous and who teaches students to win contests; the other whose approach is laid back and who teaches students to love music. These two are not in competition. Sure they may teach the same instrument, but their audiences are completely different.
This has me wondering: could it work for all competition? Maybe I am not losing at Monopoly. Maybe I am merely targeting the austerity market.